Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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