DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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