Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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