Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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