have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
