If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
