What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize