in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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