wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
