no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
