dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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