She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
i've created a new STD.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
