guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
