they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
