Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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