I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
