We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
