her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
