the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
