I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
