The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
