"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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