well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Randomize
