why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
