ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Of course I have a pirate flag
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
