Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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