I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
