your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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