just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My cat gives me a boner
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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