Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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