My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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