people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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