After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
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