My hair reeks of homosexuality.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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