Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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