On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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