I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
