On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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