Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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