She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
