omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
