Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
