also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
