Dual....:-)
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
