Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
