Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
