if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
