Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
