so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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