i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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