my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
