and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
