There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
