sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
