if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
