Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
