We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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