it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
