she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
