i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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