Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
