dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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